Magical Ship of Pleasure
by Aubrey-L
Summary: HD A challenge by Flaky AFF. Harry goes on a cruise and endures many surprises, one of them being that it's a cruise strictly for men.
1. Where In the World?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, I did not create, and I do not profit.

**Rating:** NC-17… if you know me at all, you wouldn't expect otherwise.

**A/N:** This is the first challenge I have ever responded to in this category and that could actually be considered a challenge. The challenge was created by Flaky (off of and I decided to take it under my wing since I don't think any one else did and because I already had a plot forming in my head at once. This is also my first HP fanfic so I hope you enjoy it.

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**Chapter One: Where in the World?**

It had been two years since the death of Dumbledore, – since Harry felt like he had lost another part of him that only death could bring – and one year since Harry had found the remaining Horcruxes and defeated the Dark Lord, installing peace in the wizard world for another day. But now, Harry wasn't sure what to do with himself, what to do with his life. He knew that he wasn't ready to settle down, to have a family or even begin to look for anyone in particular. Hell, he was just turning twenty in the summer. He also knew that what ever he did, his two best friends would be there to support him, Ron and Hermione. Harry was glad that the two of them had finally acted upon their suppressed feelings for one another. After Dumbledore's untimely death, they relied on each other for support and comfort. It was then that they realized that there was no shame in wanting to be together. The two of them had been going strong for two and a half years now, and they were never happier.

When Harry watched the two of them laughing together, holding hands, and smiling at each other with so much love, he longed for the same. He always wondered if Ginny would take him back but when he thought about it, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to. He had spent the summer, as always, at the Burrow and even though Ginny and him spent so much time together, he didn't feel what he used to feel any more, the sort of giddy happiness and fulfillment. She too had seemed to move on, finding love and someone who could be with her and not the face of mortal danger – Neville Longbottom. Harry was happy that she found someone who was able of being there for her and providing her with love. Harry wasn't sure that he could do that, not just for her but for anyone.

In the past few weeks before summer, when the sun shone as brightly as ever as if there was nothing that could hinder it, as if there was something worth celebrating, Harry realized that he didn't know what to do with himself. He still had thoughts about being an Auror, it was a career that Harry believed he would do well at and also quench his thirst for danger and excitement. One couldn't simply be a secretary or something mundane after facing the Dark Lord and his followers for seven consecutive years and not still need some kind of thrill that didn't necessarily have to be of them same caliber but definitely just as gratifying.

So he sat there, cross-legged, searching through brochures and travel guides from all different places over the world, both magical and Muggle. He thought that since the world wasn't in dire need of him these days that he could possibly take a vacation, maybe a cruise or something, and enjoy places that not everybody had the chance of seeing. Maybe after that, he would work as an Auror and find the big bad again.

"Where did you get all of these?" wondered Ron, sitting across from him on the living room floor, eyeing a brochure that had 'Tahiti' written across the front in large, bold, and flamboyant lettering of a very vibrant color.

Harry glanced up and then back down at the package for France. It wasn't that far away but it still held some sort of intrigue for him.

"I don't know. Some grocery store."

Ron frowned at him. "Grocery store?" he asked, trying to mimic the words that had come out of his best friends mouth.

"It's where Muggles buy vegetables and other kinds of food."

"Why would they sell packets there?"

"They sell a lot things there, Ron. Not just food."

"Oh."

"And I got the rest from a travel store."

"I don't see why you just don't Apparate from here to, I don't know, Spain. Why do you have to take a plane, as they call it, or a boat?"

"Because, I want to get away from the magic world."

"What's so bad about magic?"

"Nothing. I just want some peace," Harry answered, started to get annoyed with all of the questions Ron was asking of him.

"You can't get peace here?"

"Not with all the questions you're asking me," he grumbled, muttering the words into his lap after he picked up a pamphlet for Italy.

"Sorry, I just don't understand any of this."

"I just need to get away from everything. It's not like I'm not coming back."

"When are you leaving?"

"First, I've got to figure out where I'm going."

"Well, I can help you there," he said cheerfully, grabbing a package that was entitled 'Mexico.' "Do you want to go on a cruise or something? Or are you wanting to stay at a hotel."

"I think I'd like to try something different. I think a cruise would be nice."

"Then you might consider the Mediterranean or the Caribbean, not Ireland and Italy," suggested Hermione, sitting down on the floor space in between her friend and her boyfriend.

She started to search through the hundreds of different packages on the floor and gathered a few of the two destinations she had mentioned, handing them to Harry.

"And since when are you an expert at this?" inquired Ron, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at her.

"No, I'm not considering leaving you too."

"He's not leaving. He's coming back," Ron said hastily, looking at Harry for confirmation, who nodded on cue.

"My parents went on a cruise once. They said it's the best thing they've ever experienced. They've gone on one every year ever since."

"What's so great about it?" wondered Ron, snatching up one of the brochures from Harry's lap.

"Great, hot weather, all of the clear, blue ocean surrounding you," she began dreamily. "I can practically hear the lapping of the waves against the ship now."

"Uh oh, Ron. Watch out. She'll drag you onto one sooner than you can blink."

"Lucky me," he muttered softly but Hermione heard it all the same and gave his arm a punch.

"Bloody hell, woman, gentle!"

"Oh shut up, it wasn't that hard," she retorted.

There was a distant ring in the background and Harry took it as his opportunity to exit the room to answer it, leaving the couple to glower at each other. The two of them settled down a few minutes later and continued to look through the brochures at their feet.

"This one looks really good," commented Hermione.

"Where to?"

"Cruise just off of the coast of Mexico."

"Where's that?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and her boyfriend's naiveté and told him that it was on another continent on the other side of the world.

"Um, Hermione?"

"What is it, Ron?"

"This is a _gay_cruise."

"Ronald Weasley, what have I told you about being derogative? Homosexuals are people – "

"No, it says right here," he interrupted, pointing at a line that she apparently hadn't seen.

"Oh, well then. That's perfect," she said cheerfully, smiling at Ron.

Ron feigned ignorance. He wasn't about to spill the fact that he had always thought that Harry was gay. Although Harry had never told him, Ron had an inkling of a feeling that Harry preferred guys to girls. He had, on numerous accounts, caught Harry's eyes wandering and just when Ron would expect to see some pretty girl walk by, he would be astonished to see that it was a rather handsome young man that caught Harry's attention. Ron had never called him on it, allowing his friend to keep his secret if he wanted to.

"Excuse me?"

"Ron," said Hermione, leveling her eyes with his. "I think we both know why Ginny and Harry didn't work out."

"She's practically his sister?"

"No, you idiot. Harry's _gay_."

"Well, I could have told you that."

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued to look through the brochure.

"What do you say we call and make a reservation for him, hmm? We could send him on it as our gift to him. Besides, his birthday is in a few weeks. And maybe he'll meet someone there," she smiled, raising her eyebrows suggestively at him.

"I can picture it now: my mother practically teeming with joy as Harry describes who he met on the cruise. 'Tall, blond and fucking gorgeous.' She then nearly as a coronary when she finds out that Danielle is actually Daniel."

"Somehow, doubt that, Ron," Hermione muttered, getting up to find out if Harry was off of the phone. He indeed was and she noted that the bedroom door was closed of his and Ron's room. He was probably hiding.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm calling the place," she said. "I really am glad that your father has an obsession with Muggles or else it might be a little hard to find a phone, especially one that works."

"Are even going to _tell_ him?"

"We'll give him his ticket as an early birthday present."

"No, that's not what I mean. Are we even going to tell him," Ron looked around suspiciously and then lowered his voice, "that it's a _gay_ cruise?"

"That can be our little secret," she smiled deviously.

Ron nodded distractedly for a moment, gnawing on his bottom as he thought to himself, barely listening to the reservations that Hermione was busy making. A few minutes later Ron heard the click of the phone. He looked up at her just smiling at him.

"Harry got the last spot."

Letting out a rather large and unexpected sigh, Ron smiled along with the girl across from him.

"So when does the ship leave?"

"On his birthday."

"Conveniently," he muttered. "And how long is he gone for?"

"Two weeks."

"And how much is this costing me?"

"_Us_," she corrected and then stopped talking when she heard someone coming down the stairs unceremoniously loud. "I'll tell you later."


	2. Who Could Possibly Resist?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or else I would be selling it in bookstores worldwide. If you don't recognize it as J.K. Rowling's, then it's mine.

**Rating:** G

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews, both on and Two: Who Could Resist?

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**Chapter Two: Who Could Possibly Resist?**

Harry wasn't sure what to expect with his birthday drawing nearer, now only two days away. Ever since the little brochure episode, Hermione and Ron had been acting rather strange, almost as if they were keeping something from him but Harry decided to blame it on the strangeness they emitted when they were together. Ron did and said things that made George question his masculinity several times and Hermione was practically devouring Ron's face any chance she got. Harry wasn't sure when females had become more frisky than males but Hermione was a sure testament to it.

Sitting there at the table surrounded by red hair and freckles, Harry mulled over his cereal, counting down the days until he could escape from the Wizardry World and into the world where the Muggles dwelled. It was such an odd feeling for him since every time he left the world of magic it meant that he would be staying at the Dursley's, away from his friends. Now he was yearning to get into that world, far from his own, but this time as a free, seemingly ordinary man.

That morning was one of the ones where Harry had woken up around noon, realizing that he had nothing to do like he had for every other day of the summer. He'd rolled onto his stomach, running his fingers back through his jet-black hair before wincing when he pressed his morning hard-on into the mattress. Another morning when the knowledge sunk in that he had no one to relieve it but himself. His legs carried him to the shower, which thankfully no one was using, and he used a silencing charm much like he had the morning before and the morning before that.

Thanks to Hermione, Harry had Mexico on the brain ever since she had handed him one of the brochures for it. He fell in love instantly with the promise of crystal clear blue water, the hot sun blazing down, and sandy beaches. However, he really did want to take a cruise so the prospect of beaches was out of the question. He hadn't called the travel agency immediately because he still wanted a few days to think it over. What happens if the Caribbean looked more inviting than Mexico? What if a cruise wasn't what he _really_ wanted? Harry sighed to himself and found that he sounded like a bride on her wedding day with all the questions running through his head.

His thoughts wandered back to the present and when he looked down at his bowl of cereal, he was surprised to find nothing in it but sugary milk. He drank it and then put it in the silk along with the other piles of dishes that Mrs. Weasley was tending to.

"Everyone in the den," announced Hermione.

Harry frowned and followed the rest of the family and Hermione, who was staying with the Weasley's for three weeks of the summer. Like everyone else, Harry sat down while Hermione stood in the centre of the room with a large smile on his face.

"As everyone knows, it will be Harry's birthday in two days," she began, looking at Harry, who now had his face in his hands, "and since he won't be with us for very long, I thought he should open his gifts today."

"What are you talking about?" Harry mumbled. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Your cruise," said Ron, trying to refresh his memory and suppress a grin at the same time.

"Oh yeah, but that's not until after my birthday," Harry replied, looking warily from his best friend to his other.

"Here, Harry. Open it," said Hermione, handing a long but thin rectangular box that was shiny and green. "It's from Ron and I."

Taking the box, Harry was becoming increasingly suspicious since Hermione was practically teeming with excitement, almost ready to burst, and Ron was appearing the same way on the couch beside him. Harry took off the lid and stared down at the small white envelope before picking it up so he could open it.

"Mexico?" he whispered, beginning to read the piece of paper until a ticket fell out when he unfolded it again. "Merlin."

"What do you think?"

"I think you guys spent too much," he breathed out.

"Oh, that's nonsense."

"It leaves on my birthday," Harry said randomly, glancing up from the ticket to them.

"Which is why we gave it to you today, mate," responded Ron, slapping his friend on the back once. "You have two days to pack."

" 'Magical Ship of Pleasure'?" Harry questioned, looking at his two friends for an answer i8mmediately.

"They all have names like that," said Hermione, waving it away, not skipping a beat.

Harry nodded distractedly. He grinned a moment later before jumping up to hug Hermione and then Ron, thanking them both profusely.

"My gift looks like shit compared to theirs," muttered Fred to George.

"Fred, watch your mouth," scolded Mrs. Weasley, sending her son a glare before smiling back at Harry.

For the next half hour, Harry opened up his gifts from the Weasley's and talking with the family. It wasn't until Mr. Weasley had to leave for work, as did Fred and George to maintain their shop in Hogsmeade that Harry finally got away. He collected up his gifts and brought them up to his room.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he gazed down at the cruise ticket that was in his hands. It was finally sinking in that he would be in Mexico on a big boat, sun bathing on a chair beside a pool while he sipped his Margarita, or Long Island Iced Tea – which was what he preferred. All that hard liquor in one drink. Who could possibly resist?


End file.
